Express Your Self
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
Be firm, Be fair, cooperate: take turns talking, take turns listening: listen for the content and the emotion of the speaker. After they finish speaking, say something like, "Let me make sure I understand what you mean, you said something about this and it sounded like you felt like that." Naturally you would use your own words and review or recap the highlights of the message briefly, to show you understand, and to let the other person correct your impression of what they meant.
This is called Reflective Listening or Active Listening. These strategies are vital if you really want to communicate well. Active listening and reflecting with help decrease conflict and will help solve arguments, and will help both of you feel understood and connected.
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